By now almost every religion, culture or mystic cult has had a go at the end of the world. Last year it was time for the Mayans. So far nothing has happened on those Ends of the World Days, but now it is the time for the original Ragnarök, the Viking end of time. As brutal as they were they should know when it is going to happen.
I am sorry, but tomorrow the world will end in such a horrendous fashion that only two people will remain to forever feast on the immortal pig of Särimner. What is clear is that the end of the world will start with the transsexual God Lokí.
Before we go into Lokí and all that we should though know that the only source for the impending doom is Icelandic. So, we can be pretty sure that the end will be caused by something large, menacing and Icelandic. As it happens, Lokí turns out to be a Volcano. Is there anyone out there who is surprised?
Lokí-Fögrufjöll is a mongrel of a volcano, which is rather befitting since it is named after the mongrel transsexual god Lokí that never was up for anything useful. In this case it is situated on the Bárdarbunga/Veidivötn fissure swarm. It is an odd mixture of a central volcano and a transverse volcanic fissure. It runs almost all the way from Hamarinn Volcano to Grimsvötn. It contains two highly hydrothermally active cauldrons that tend to cause a lot of Jökulhlaups. The last confirmed eruption of Lokí-Fögrufjöll was in 1910.
Here comes the fun and pertinent thing about Lokí-Fögrufjöll. It is believed by some to connect no less than 3 of Iceland’s most powerful central volcanoes, and two of its most powerful fissure swarms.
So, let us dream dark dreams of destruction shall we? Just for funsies…
Early on Saturday morning Iceland shall be rocked by a tremendous succession of earthquakes with several of them ranging above M6, they start at the center of the transverse volcanic fissure of Loki-Fögrufjöll which erupts after an hour. Another hour later both Hamarinn and Grimsvötn start violent eruptions. The earthquakes now start spreading down the Veidivötn and Lakí fissure swarm, they also run up the Gjálp fissure swarm into Bárdarbunga which also quickly erupts.
As the Lakí and Grimsvötn fissure swarms rip apart and start a combined 50 cubic kilometer eruption Hamarinn and Bárdarbunga collapses in VEI-6 caldera events. By now all of the volcanoes down the Grimsvötn volcanic line start to erupt one after another. Háabunga, Thordharhyrna, Geirvörtur, Hágöngur and Éldgigur, and as the last one erupts the magma reservoir under Grimsvötn collapses in on itself and the sub-glacial lake of Grimsvötn falls into the 400 cubic kilometer magma chamber causing Iceland’s first VEI-7 eruption.
As the volcanoes come to rest the world is suffocating in the ashes and gases, and those who do not suffocate will be slaughtered by marauding Vikings competing for a spot in Valhalla and a chance to eat the immortal pig.
I am always amazed that people actually believe in things like this. Yes, it is a blast to think it all up and write about it. But seriously, who is gullible enough to buy into any crap like this? So far in my life the world has ended four times that I know about, and Saturday will not be any different. The only thing about the Viking death date is that nobody seems to have gotten really agitated, even those who believe in the mythology and hark it as their religion seem to take it easy, just another reason to get drunk really. I guess we need a few years in between the Ends of the World to really get going the next time one comes around.
In the end I guess we are a sad pathetic morbid bunch who just needs impending doom and destruction to justify our lives. On that cheery thought I will leave you with the poetic last stanza from the Völuspá in my very own translation.
Out of the mist
The Dragon flew,
down from Niðafjöllum,
covered in feathers.
-Flew high over,-
Now land she will.
- From Old Léon to Image – Momotombo, Nicaragua (Sissel, 2pt)
- Erroneous and rotund – Ringfault (Sissel, 2pt)
- Scoria or Tuff before thy Name – Kone Volcano (Lurking, 2pt)
- Goliats bane on sacred Flavia – David A Johnston, died on the slopes of Mount St Helens named after Flavia Iulia Helena Augusta, mother of Constantin the Great (Cryphia, 2pt)
- Behead the traitorous martyr – Santop Mountain, aka Traitor’s Head on Martyr’s Island in Vanuatu (Dinojura44, 2pt)
8 Evan Chugg
Happy End of the World!